Wednesday, November 28, 2012

An Adjustment

Since coming back from Guatemala, Sam has been a grouch pot.  Super bad. Like...bring mama a strong drink now bad.

He will fuss, and fuss for an entire day.  Nothing will make him happy.  It is brutal and it makes me absolutely crazy.  I feel horrible for Ben too, because all I say is, "Don't touch him, don't mess with him, don't even look at him, give him whatever it is that he wants, etc, etc."  I've taken him to the Dr, I've tried antibiotics, tylenol, and motrin.  He's just angry. all. day. long.   And the days are long. 

Well, yesterday while chatting it up with Mr. N, all I decided to have a pity party.  I want to eat lunch out by myself.  I want to go shopping at the gro or any where without everyone freaking out.  I want to drive in my car and jam out to my music without listening to Veggie Tales and getting the sippy cup that fell.  I want to be selfish.  I was jealous of Mr. N's quality and quantity of alone time.  

After my freak out session, I was gently reminded by God that I was so very wrong and broken.  It came over me like a wave.  Love is never jealous.  Remember?   My love for my husband and my children should be patient, kind, hard to anger, and not self-seeking.  I was failing miserably. 

How dare me be jealous of my husbands time? I was humbled. This is a phase, it's only a season.  I'm truly trying to be in the moment, and enjoy all the fuss.  It's just hard.  And I'm just putting it all out there.  I'm sure that I will look back at this time and miss it and want it back, so I'm trying again today.  Thank goodness for grace, right?   Wish me luck, A

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