Thursday, January 31, 2013

Inspired by Creative People

Are you ever just blown away by really creative people?  I totally am!  I admire how someone can come up with something, execute it, and it look and function great.  Oh, and add cheap into that, I like a good deal. 

So today, I thought I would share with you a few blogs/websites that always inspire me on a regular basis, and that way I don't have to recreate the wheel.  I just snag their creative power and run with it.  Now you know my secret.  Don't tell.

Honest to Nod:  Do you love Land of Nod?  Do you think, that is so awesome...I could make that?  Weelll, in honest to nod they show you how they accomplished it.  I think that's rad. Enjoy and go to Hobby Lobby while you are at it.

A Beautiful Mess: I ran across these sweet ladies maybe 6 months ago, and they post like crazy and make super rad stuff.  They cook, like cocktails, go junking, and are super crafty.  Yes, yes, and yes!  All good things to be had!  I like their tabs along the top so when I'm feeling like being crafty, just peruse on down.

Enjoy!  Hobby Lobby will be seeing my face very soon, because I get crafty in waves.  And right now I'm riding it.  I am making my to-do list and purchase list as we speak on my handy-dandy iPad.  Wish me luck. hugs, a

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Weighty Topic

Well, here it is.  Just to lay it all out on the table. I've gained weight.  And not just a little.  Enough that my pants hurt and don't fit.  And, no I'm not joking. I suspect a couple of reasons, not to really share here, but the fact still remains. 

It is hard to see all the fabulous thin people with their size two bums and not thing poorly of myself.  To run out of clothes that fit is hard.  Then I tell myself, you are so unattractive, how could anyone love you?  Why don't you just stop eating? Why don't you just get your bum of the sofa and workout?  Why don't you have any discipline?  Why can't you do your goals?  Why do you stink so bad at this?  You belly has rolls and rolls...don't lay like that.  Suck it in.  No one can love you at that size.  Guess what?  All that crap is not from God.   And another thing is, you don't know what all their problems are.  Yes, they might be thin, but they might have sick babies, an absent husband, be in debt, or be living in pain.  You never know the circumstances, so be thankful for God's blessings instead.  It's so much easier. 

What I'm learning is that, who I am, Annie....really doesn't matter what I weigh.  Yes, it would be lovely to be able to wear a bikini and rock it....but that just ain't happen right now.  Do I want to work for it.  Yes, well kind of. Just joking, yes, I'm going to have to work for it at this stage. 

God made his point clear to me.  I am not what I weigh.  He doesn't care, the world does.  My hubs and family and true friends don't care what I weigh.  One precious friend told me, if my pants hurt, buy new ones.  She insists that I look great the way I am. I appreciate and love her for this...even if she's a size 2, because I know that the size doesn't truly matter.

God gave me this last night, instead of being all depressed and caught up in my weight, I realized that I can be instead grateful and thankful for what it CAN do.  Yes, I live pretty much pain free. Yes, I'm healthy!   Yes, my body made and sustained two lovely human beings.  Yes, I can live an active life!  Hip, hip hooray.  So for today, I'm trying to eat cleaner, move more, and drink more water.  Each day is a new day to make better decisions.   

God is pruning me to produce better fruit.  His promise is that he adores me as I am.  He wants my heart. Nothing else matters my lovelies.  Not your pant size or bank account.  Hopefully, this old girl will produce some mighty fine fruit.  A

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Sammy and big boy undies

Hey,hey, hey! My little man is on his way to being potty trained. Check him out! He is so proud!

I have no problems

By 11 o'clock today a ton of super heavy stuff had already occurred.  From murders to suicidal thoughts, to overdosing, to shootings, to depression.  Then to ice that cake, I was sharing a book I was reading with a coworker about disciplining kids.  She proceeds to tell me about her four kids (some are fostered).  They live under lock and key, alarms on all doors, because her kids choke people, absolutely freak out, steal, run out the door and hide.  She was already phoned from the school three times today for their behavior. She asks me, so how is that book going to help me?  I'm at a loss.  It won't help you....I couldn't even imagine dealing with those problems. I just listen and pray.  That's all I have to offer. 

Then I think, holy smoking crap.  I've been all worked up about my own children minding the first time every time, about manners, and responsibility, and GT testing.  Guess what?  I am beyond blessed. I truly have no problems.  My bank account might be light, but my heart huge.   I'm reminded about storing up my treasures on earth and that it is futile. 

Later, two hard students started asking me what I think about heaven and Jesus.  Yes!  How did he die?  What happened after he died?  What does that mean?  All this in a public school for at risk kids.  I read from the bible today to them. 

Thank you Jesus, for I don't deserve a fraction of the blessings you've bestowed on me.  Thank you for trusting me with my students, my children, and my husband.  Thank you giving me my ginormous heart, even when it's hard for me to handle.  Thank you letting me feel. I love you sweet Jesus, thanks for loving me back and meeting me where I am.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Introducing Miss Minnie Pearl

It's official, I am in love. It is so stinking grand. Miss Minnie Pearl needed a new home, and we are it!! She is truly an answered prayer. I am so grateful for God listening to my cries. Miss Minnie had huge shoes to fill....and she did it. Thank you for such a great gift! She is an French bulldog, four years old, house trained, and doesn't eat the boys toys. I think she loves me, and I adore her. Hip, hip, hooray!!

Saturday, January 19, 2013

I am still here

Well, I finally feel my spirits a bit lifted. Thank you to all your sweet lovings. Here are two new pics of my lovelies, with my new handy iPad. Yahoo! Hopefully today will be another blessed happy day. Hugs, a

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Hide My Heart

"I am such a deep "feeler" that often times I have to protect a bit what comes my way....I carry stuff greatly. Some people go through their entire life with minimal struggle.  While others lose it all.  Their hearts are shattered and they cry out to God daily to make it another day.  I don't know why that is. 
But the reality of that.
The reality is that it all can change in a moment. 
I carry that. 
Everyday."  From Casey

I try to hide my heart to a certain degree.  I want to protect it and shield it, for I'm afraid it will break.  I have to hold it all together for my little family.  For if I'm off, it all rolls downhill from there. 
The truth is this, I've been sad.  I have been sad since Maddy girl passed.  I've been sad that a whole piece of me is gone.  She was intertwined into my life so much....and I didn't even realize it.  As soon as I wake, as I relax in the evening, when I'm cooking, when I get home, I think about her face and how much I miss it.  Her smell. 

The other part that is sad, is that the whole season of our life has passed.   And, the real kicker for me, is that it seems I'm the only one in the family upset and why can't I just move on?  It's been almost two weeks.  Then, from hiding all the pain and hurt, I get tierd and kind of angry.  I'm a sad angry bird.  For reals.  Just ask Mr. N.

My long exit over the holiday was due to the fact that I didn't feel happy-go-lucky. I don't share this for attention or for you to feel sorry for me.  I say this to be 100% authentic to you.  So, I will pray.  I will pray that this depression will pass over me.  That my heart will heal.  A

Monday, January 7, 2013

Six Blissful Years

My baby is six today.  I can't believe it.  I stood outside his school today holding his little hand, just thinking....please stop time.  Please.  He is precious in so many ways.  This morning, he yells (because he lacks volume control), "Mom!  Look at the sunrise!  It's amazing!  Take a picture!  Jesus says Good Morning!"  Could that be more precious?  I don't teach him this.  He just knows certain things innately.  Then, I let my mind wonder at God's amazing love and I know how.  Ben is God's perfect creature.  God whispers to Ben all the time.

The day that Ben came into the world was a cold, sad, day at the beginning....and by the end, a joyful, forever changed us kind of day.  I was 37 weeks along and John and I lived in Jarrell, TX.  We were headed to Dallas to drop off George, a very hairy cat of mine with his new forever home.   After balling my eyes out, and eating two large Arby's roast beef sandwiches we were on the road again.  I was crying to my sweet mum about dropping off George, and thought I peed on myself.  Oh, no.... I didn't. 

My water broke in the car.  Hours away from our hospital.  Yes, this is happening.  We then proceeded to speed, and get pulled over.  My doctor was on vacation, out of the country.  I won't go into any yucky details here, but lots went wrong.  It wasn't the perfect, easy birth I had planned and expected.  What did happen though was that my life was instantly and forever changed for the better. 

Benno had colic and we had no support systems in place in Jarrell.  I didn't know what the heck I was doing.  We struggled.  What I did learn though was this, I never fully understood the power of what Christ did for me until I loved my own son.  I learned to grow more patience than I ever knew I could.  I saw my husband in a different light, a father, we were a family.  Ben has taught me to see through the trash and only see the treasure.  The wildflower on the side of the road next to garbage.  All the shades of a sunset, the butterflies perfect wings, the quiet of his breathing.  Ben has taught me good and bad jokes, how to love unconditionally, how to hold my tongue and how to hold my temper.  I'm such a better, deeper person because of him being in the world.  He has shown me God's face and voice.  I no longer question God's love and promises. 

Thank you Ben for picking me to be your momma.  I'm the lucky one.  The words aren't enough, but I love you so,

your momma
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