Monday, January 7, 2013

Six Blissful Years

My baby is six today.  I can't believe it.  I stood outside his school today holding his little hand, just thinking....please stop time.  Please.  He is precious in so many ways.  This morning, he yells (because he lacks volume control), "Mom!  Look at the sunrise!  It's amazing!  Take a picture!  Jesus says Good Morning!"  Could that be more precious?  I don't teach him this.  He just knows certain things innately.  Then, I let my mind wonder at God's amazing love and I know how.  Ben is God's perfect creature.  God whispers to Ben all the time.

The day that Ben came into the world was a cold, sad, day at the beginning....and by the end, a joyful, forever changed us kind of day.  I was 37 weeks along and John and I lived in Jarrell, TX.  We were headed to Dallas to drop off George, a very hairy cat of mine with his new forever home.   After balling my eyes out, and eating two large Arby's roast beef sandwiches we were on the road again.  I was crying to my sweet mum about dropping off George, and thought I peed on myself.  Oh, no.... I didn't. 

My water broke in the car.  Hours away from our hospital.  Yes, this is happening.  We then proceeded to speed, and get pulled over.  My doctor was on vacation, out of the country.  I won't go into any yucky details here, but lots went wrong.  It wasn't the perfect, easy birth I had planned and expected.  What did happen though was that my life was instantly and forever changed for the better. 

Benno had colic and we had no support systems in place in Jarrell.  I didn't know what the heck I was doing.  We struggled.  What I did learn though was this, I never fully understood the power of what Christ did for me until I loved my own son.  I learned to grow more patience than I ever knew I could.  I saw my husband in a different light, a father, we were a family.  Ben has taught me to see through the trash and only see the treasure.  The wildflower on the side of the road next to garbage.  All the shades of a sunset, the butterflies perfect wings, the quiet of his breathing.  Ben has taught me good and bad jokes, how to love unconditionally, how to hold my tongue and how to hold my temper.  I'm such a better, deeper person because of him being in the world.  He has shown me God's face and voice.  I no longer question God's love and promises. 

Thank you Ben for picking me to be your momma.  I'm the lucky one.  The words aren't enough, but I love you so,

your momma

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