Thursday, February 21, 2013

Crappy McCrapperson

Do you ever feel exhausted working for the kingdom?  Like, just give me a friggin break God, please?? I could really use a break.  Today, I gave a very generous, Godly gift out of prayer to a student.  There was no "thank you". 

No kiss my foot.  Nothing.  Someone even asked her to go tell Mrs. N thank you, and she didn't.  She walked out. I felt angry.  And frustrated and duped somehow.  How could someone be so unappreciative?  Doesn't she know what a gift that is?  It was not from me, it was from God.  As soon as I really let myself feel the weight of the emotion, the tears rolled down. (And then I'm embarassed.)

Then, I think...did I misunderstand God's voice?  I questioned my gift to her.  Should I have not given it?  Was she an unworthy person for the gift?  I started searching for my answers. And this is what I've found so far. 
Give generously to him and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to. {Deuteronomy 15:10}

In the midst of a very severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. 3 For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own, 4 they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the Lord’s people. 5 And they exceeded our expectations: They gave themselves first of all to the Lord, and then by the will of God also to us. {2 Corinthians 8:2-5}

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Boiling Point

Do you ever reach your limit with your kids?  Like you can feel your "patience" tank just deplete and go right on into empty?  I was there.  Yesterday Sam decided to fuss and cry and just generally be a pain for two SOLID friggin hours.  I was fine at first....but then I just hit the wall.  I could feel my frustration crawl up out of me like nasty, very ugly evil thing ready to attack.

Sam was just not having it. Nothing was making him happy.  John tried to help, but nothing worked.  Finally, o-so finally John just told me to go away.  I loved and hated it at the same time.  I loved that my hubs can handle the boys, handle me, and be more stubborn than them.  He doesn't give in.  He stands his ground.  I needed that.  Stick a fork in me, I was done.  But I hated it, because it makes me feel like I can't handle my own kids....why couldn't I just get Sam out of his funk?  Could I have done more?

The good news was, that John did it.  It worked.  I got to push reset and come back in and all was right with the world again.  What all this made me realize, is that even though I adore and love my children unconditionally, I am by no means perfect.  It made me actually appreciate God's love for me even more....he never looses His patience with me.  What what!!  That's amazing.  I would lose my patience with me. 

This morning I pulled up a bunch of our pictures because I'm working on our yearly Shutterfly book.  I was reminded of his sweetness.  Can you see the crusty nose, left over milk, and uneven bangs?  Yeppers, that's all him.  Thank goodness for sleep and refreshing of patience.  I'm refilled and ready for the day!  Hugs, a

{PS: if any of my sweet readers have grand advice for me...I'm all ears!}

Friday, February 15, 2013

Cutie Patootie

Before getting Miss. Minnie Pearl, I had pinned all these hilarious pics.  Who knew that I loved a bull-dog, especially wearing clothes!  To lighten up today, and hopefully make you smile.  Have a blessed, and glorious weekend.....a

Thursday, February 14, 2013


With Valentine’s Day on the horizon, I have been thinking a lot about love.  What is it to love with your whole heart all the time?  You know the unconditional, deep as the depths of the ocean kind of love?   The way Christ loves me kind of love.  Personally, it is trying to listen to each person that I encounter….and actually hear them.  To feel what they feel, to understand them….to accept them just as they are regardless of color, age, money, looks, or status.  To really notice and take in another human. 
 I like to feed and clothe people, which is ironic because I’m not a great cook.  But, I like to always take care of their basic needs, so that I then have a window into their heart.  It works I tell you!
Let me preface all this by saying, these are my goals.  I’m not always successful.  I get tired of fighting the fight.  I get downright exhausted…ask Mr. N.  I’m passing out on the sofa at nine pretty often.   But, it is amazing when I’m no longer concerned about my own crap.  My life, my kids, my wardrobe, my house, my job, my husband, my dog.  When I turn my eyes and heart toward another, either Christ or loving someone with my attempt of Christ love, most often only wonderful things happen-day after day. 
So go out there, and hug someone.  Get in uncomfortable situations that push the doors of the heart wide open.  Don’t get bogged down if you don’t get flowers, or jewelry, or have a significant other.  That’s not what it’s really about anyways.  The materials will pass, but the feeling you gave someone, will be remembered.  Just love and accept love.
Juicy kisses, xoxoxoxo, a

Tuesday, February 12, 2013


An old, sweet college friend, Mrs. Allison messaged me randomly to participate in a women's retreat that she was called to do, called DUST.  She called it DUST because of wanting to follow Jesus’s footsteps so closely that we are covered in His dust.

I, of course, said Yes!  I would love to be able to love on some college girls.  Well, let me just tell you this...the entire retreat was a miracle.  All the group leaders traveled to make it, one as far as New York.  We all left our kids behind with our husbands and blindly went to serve.

40 girls, plus all the leaders stayed in her home.  Yes, you heard me, I’m not joking.  We all slept there.  All meals were eaten there.  We were on schedule.  We did yoga twice!  We worshiped God and praised him gloriously.  The septic system held up, the weather was was all so magnificently flawless.  Thank you Jesus.

Allison is the best speaker I’ve heard in ages.  She is engaging, emotional when she needs to be, eloquent, and can paint the perfect picture in your mind to match her point.  I just sat in awe of her.  I of course, can’t say it has awesome as she did, but I really liked these thoughts.

1.      Your name is etched on Jesus’s palm.  Really think about that….
2.      We need to live up to what we’ve already attained through Christ…meaning who God already insists that I am.
3.      God is going to do whatever it takes to increase my intimacy with Him.  Whatever it takes.
4.      God wants to return us to the creation we are.  That perfect, prized, grand finale creation.  His masterpiece.  He delights in us.

Each leader gave her testimony, and they were each so uniquely different.  We had each followed a completely different up bringing to get to where we are today.  I was planning on going in one direction for my testimony, and then of course, God tells me to go a completely different way.  I am scared…but follow.  The morning of my talk God tells me that the point was 1) you are enough and 2) give yourself grace.  It seemed to strike a chord with many girls, which is always God’s point…to get right to the heart of them.  I was only the vessel.  It seems like we can plan all day long, and God is just bigger than that.

We’ve all been attacked since serving, but God is bigger and better.   Thank you for thinking of me.  Thank you for letting me love on the girls.  Thank you for blessing me.  Thank you Ali for the experience of the weekend.  I am so very thankful that you listened, followed, and included me.  Thank you dearly.  I look forward to watching the DUST settle.

Tight hugs, a

Monday, February 4, 2013

Random Ramblings

This just made me laugh, and I thought I'd share it!  I pray your weekend was lovely.  Overall, mine was pretty grand...a few personal hiccups, but overall it was charming. I won a hundred buckaroos last night at a Superbowl party!  And it was a complete even better.   I didn't know that you have to "pay" for the squares you put your name in.  Who knew? 

I got my "hair did" for the first time in three months and I feel so fancy pants.   Also, I'm trying really hard to love and discipline my children intentionally.  It has been so revealing and prosperous for me and them.  We have had way fewer time outs and melt downs.  Hip, hip, hooray!  Part of the information came from this rad book, "Making your Children Mind without losing yours" and the other from Mrs. Casey here.   Let's pray it continues.

But, the best part of the entire weekend for me was when Ben acquired some cash from Nana.  He put half in save and half in spend.  Then to go further, he took part of the spend portion and wanted to give it away.  It made my heart glow.  He decided to give it to my favorite homeless guy, Bill, just because.  I am so proud of his heart and the little man he is becoming.  Have a blessed day my lovies, A

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