Monday, May 20, 2013

My Flaw

Intense.  I was called intense this weekend.  At first, I thought of this as a serious insult.  A huge negative connotation came to mind.  Many of my students are intense, very emotional, a little off kilter, and just a lot to take in and handle.  They have so much raw unfiltered uninhibited emotions.  Thus, when I was called this, I thought, well crap.  I need to do some work on me.

When I ponder on "intense" people I also think of those ladies you meet that are such perfectionist.  Their children are in all the right things, look right, do right, etc etc.  These moms workout a crap load and have it all in order all the time.  They look a little strained.  This is absolutely not me.

So of course, I look up the definition.  Here is what handy Mr. Webster says:
1.a : existing in an extreme degree b : having or showing a characteristic in extreme degree
2: marked by or expressive of great zeal, energy, determination, or concentration
3 a : exhibiting strong feeling or earnestness of purpose b : deeply felt

The friend that called me this went on to tell me how she viewed "intense".  It wasn't an insult.  It was more along the lines of passionate, but in a non-intimate type of way.  I passionately pursued what mattered to me.  I love passionately.  I'm not fearful of this.  I just need to embrace it.  She doesn't believe how I do about Godly things, so she doesn't really get it.

This morning, of course, while driving into work, I thought what am I "intense" about?  I fiercely love God, my husband, my children, my family and close friends.  In that order.  I furiously try to serve the Kingdom of God in every way I know how.  The rest of me is light and fluffy and funny.  I'm silly and easy going about everything else.  But, you know what struck me like a ton of figgin bricks?? 
My deep concentrated love for these things is the very most important thing to me. 

So I decided...call me intense if you want to. I will fight for what I love.  My babies know this.  If this is one of my major flaws, I'll take it. Happy day my lovelies, go out the be brave.  Hugs, a


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