Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Tight Wire

How do you teach your children to give grace to others even if you might not approve of it? We are dealing with a difficult child in Ben’s class, let’s call him Bob. Due to the blog being private, I feel the freedom to discuss this! Well Bob is the worst kid in class. Honestly. No joke. I’ve met the parents too, and know that he isn’t a necessarily a bad kid, but is being raised in a VERY different manner. Think of telling his mom to “shut-up”, lots of constant drama, name calling and unkind words being spread all around.

In addition, Bob has no friends. Every day when Ben gets out of the car I tell him, “Be Brave. Be Kind. You can do hard things baby.” We talk about loving on others, seeking out people who need his love in the day. Ben tries to look for ways to help others. He tries to love on everyone. You know what’s coming, Bob considers Ben “one of his bros”. And to top it off, Bob is teaching Ben things we don't approve of. Yesterday Ben came home so down that I was worried. Turn's out Ben got blamed for Bob's bad behavior.

Here’s the question….how do you teach compassion and grace, but with reservations? My logical side would say leave Bob alone. You don’t need to be associated with him. We don’t want Bob to rub off on you. And we definitely don’t want to be guilty by association. Be nice, but not too nice.

The heart side of me says, go for it Benno! Love with all your might baby! Be Bob’s friend, but don’t lose yourself. Give Bob mercy. Befriend him and love him. Show Bob the light of Jesus!

Neither is right or wrong. In the book of Matthew, one main theme is that whoever is first on earth will be last in heaven, and that children have their very own angels and belong to Kingdom of Heaven. Thus, based on biblical teachings, I would tell Benno to love away. Get after it. But, the catch in my mom brain, once again comes down to releasing control, do I trust? I find myself high on a trapeze wire most of the time….balancing this world and the Godly kingdom. I want to protect my children, keep them safe, unharmed, away from danger and bad people, but that isn’t what the bible tells me to do. The bible calls me to trust God first.

There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you. James 2:13

So, I will continue on the tight wire, trying to walk my way through this world until I get to the other side of heaven.

1 comment:

  1. We have one of those kids in Mattison's class too. Our journey with him started when he threw a chair and hit Mattie with it. We told Mattie instead of being mad at him, love him because we don't know why he is hurting and acting out. We make it a point everyday to ask her how he is doing, did she play with him, etc. She tells us it is hard to be his friend but she knows she needs to continue to be brave and do what is right. She also knows that her actions are her responsibility and nobody else's and that she has her own consequences whether she makes the right or wrong choice. They will learn reservation along the way. It's a part of growing up. But walking a path of Love is the best!


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